Mariah Carey Was Convinced She'd Be Dead by Now

Mariah Carey feels blessed to be alive - she never thought she'd live to see her 40th birthday.

The singer turned 40 in March and admits she celebrated more than most.

She says, "Honestly, I never thought I'd live this long."

The Without You singer tells In Touch magazine, "I have always been grateful for everything I had, but my personal life was a mess. So many artists just exist for their careers and then burn out quickly.

"I always thought that I wouldn't be here at this point. I was thinking, 'Ok, I've got another year of my life left. This has got to be the end of it.'"

Meeting and marrying rapper/actor Nick Cannon made Carey stop thinking so negatively.

She explains, "He was like, 'Stop talking like that.' I have been obsessed with the whole Marilyn Monroe thing my whole life - all those artists who died young."

And Carey admits she shared her gloomy outlook with the late Michael Jackson: "At one point, we talked about that stuff. I can't reveal what he thought. But yes, we had a conversation about it once."